The Price of Silver
by Seshira
Summary: Summersea K'Vala is a child born to a family with a tradition of strong Mage Potential. But dare she go against family and tradition to journey to K'Leshya to become part of the Silver Gryphons? Or will she let the destiny she was born to clip her wings?
1. prologue

Prologue

"I'm not going to train as a Mage." The ekele went deadly quiet and suddenly, Summersea felt four identical pairs of sky-blue eyes focus on her with unearthly intensity. Well, four pairs of blue eyes and four more pairs of falcon eyes as well as her family's bondbird's reacted to their individual person's state of abrupt agitation. Before she could lose her nerve, she took a shaky breath and blurted out. "I want to go to K'leshya and become a Silver."

Still, no one said anything. But then again, they didn't need to. Even her twin brother stared at her as if she was beginning to molt like a over-stressed tervadi, or as if she had suddenly manifested into a Changechild of Ma'ar's. Unable to keep up her head in the face of the wordless reproach, she dropped her head, her fingers burrowing into her bondbird's breast feathers.

Kirai stroked his head against his person's hand in a soft caress, but Summersea couldn't help but notice that his feathers were slicked back with tension too.  ::_They__ aren't taking this very well::___

Kirai shifted restlessly from foot to foot, taking care not to pierce the thin leather of Summersea's glove. ::_Not__ every day a falcon's fledgling decides she is a duck.:: He retorted, and for a moment, Summersea felt a stab of hurt, the courage it had taken to face her family withering in the face of her own bondbird's disapproval. _

::_You__ don't want me to be a Silver either?:: _

The raptor snapped his beaks a few times reflectively, before giving her a falcon's imitation of a shrug. ::_Perhaps__ not duck:: he conceded grudgingly, ::__More like falcon deciding to be grass cat. Good, both. Just different.:: _

::_Then__ why did you say 'duck'?::_

A flicker of humor stole into Kirai's eyes, and Summersea could've sworn the bird was laughing at her. ::_Duck__ good too. Tasty.::_

A tiny smile lifted the corner of Summersea's mouth, relieving a little of her tension. Kirai _did have a point…_

The scraping of her father's chair snapped her back to attention and she watched anxiously as Moonwind K'Vala stood up, his mage robes swirling around him like silver-lined storm clouds. For a moment, sire and child's eyes clashed, and what Summersea saw in his eyes, disappointment, anger, refusal, made her heart ache as much as it would have if he had physically hit her. 

"Father, I—it's not that—"

He didn't give her a chance to finish. Like the cool, unforgiving wind he had been named for, he walked past her and out the door. He didn't even spare her the time to yell or rail at her. In that moment, Summersea wished he had done both. Better that public humiliation than this silent condemnation. At least in the former, she would be given chance to defend herself, but how could she defend herself if no accusations had been verbally made?

Once her father had left, her mother exploded in a volley of scolding. How could she do this to the family that had loved her? Her family line had born a great deal of Masters and Adepts; they were evenly distantly related to Firesong K'Treva, mentor or Darian Firken K'Vala K'Valdemar, who in turn was one of the founders of this Vale! To become nothing but a dirt-grubbing fighter in Gods-knew-where and with Lady-knew-who?! How could she even think of shaming her family like that??

Her voice raised so shrilly that her bondbird began to creel, setting off the others until their neighbors began poking heads out of the ekeles, muttering in annoyance and no little curiosity. After all, Sera Forest, a Haven-trained Master Mage and Moonwind's wife, was known to be gentle and of mild temperament. 

Summersea bowed her head, letting the hurtful words wash over her, convulsing around her heart like a clamp. She sat there long after her mother had spent her voice hoarse screaming. And still after Sera had stormed out the door in the way of her husband. She sat there as her two brothers put in their two bits worth, demanding to know if she was serious and whether or not she had lost her mind. But this time, it was her turn for silence. 

She was angry, hurt, and shuttered behind long lashes, tears threatened to slip down her cheeks. Her hands were clasped so tight that the color had drained from her knuckles and she couldn't feel the skin on skin touch of her knotted fingers. But she wouldn't renege on her word. 

She was going to K'Leshya.

~*~

As soon as her family had left her to her own devices, Summersea slowly got up from her chair. Kirai winged onto her shoulder, rubbing his down-soft head against her cheek as if trying to absorb some of the wetness that had finally spilled from her eyes.  He preened the tuffs of hair that escaped from the awkward knot at the nape of her neck, then unexpectedly nipped her ear, ringing a choked laugh from the girl.

::_They__ hate __me.::_

Kirai nipped her again, this time reprovingly. ::_Surprised__. Not hate. __Parents not hate their fledglings for leaving nest.::_

Summersea rubbed her swollen eyes, not answering. How could you tell a bird, even an intelligent bondbird like Kirai, that it wasn't just that she was growing up that bothered her parents? It was the fact that she was turning her back on twelve generations of tradition. And it was even more important to her mother, she thought in despair, because her mother _wasn't_ Tayledras. Sera Forest wasn't part of her father's people and she had to counteract that by being even _more Tayledras than even her husband was and that meant her children had to be as well._

Summersea had hated her un-Tayledras-like fair skin and long, blonde hair growing up when even her brothers had inherited their father's blue eyes and brown hair. Or they would have been blue and brown if the mage-energies where not slowly bleaching their hair white. But she had been the Halfling in K'Vala growing up; No Tayledras had flaxen hair or green eyes but then, no Valdemarian had those high, curved cheekbones, and almost hawk-like nose.

'Halfling', they had called her, 'No-Where's Child', 'Tainted', that and worse. It didn't matter that her brothers had the same blood as she; they _looked Tayledras, bones, skin, sinew. In K'Vala, things were supposed to be different, that people were supposed to be living together in harmony whether or not they were kyree, gryphon, Tayledras, Ghost Cat, or otherwise. But human prejudice was just too much to conquer in such a short time, and what adults said, the children mimicked, chanting over and over until the words flowed through her blood, always a part of her._

No matter how many times they said it, it still hurt. That was why she needed to leave the Vale. That was why she needed to go to K'Leshya, where there was such a melting pot of people that perhaps, just perhaps, one more child of mud-blooded heritage would go unnoticed. That was why…

"I need to get out of here." She whispered aloud, and even to her own ears, her voice sounded broken, suffocated. 

Kirai's raptor-eyes narrowed. ::_Not__ leave K'Vala yet.::_

She shook her head, "Not yet." Gently disengaging the falcon from her shoulder, Summersea walked to the ekele door, holding him aloft. "Fly. Hunt. Find me later." He bobbed his head in agreement and with one last affectionate nibble, Kirai sprang aloft, his wings rapidly beating skywards until he disappeared amongst the green foliage of the encroaching forest. 

Summersea sighed, lifting her head to the sun. She wished she could fly away to, and leave all her troubles behind her as the earth fell away beneath her wings….

Tbc….

AN: my first Mercedes Lackey fic, even though I've loved her stuff since I was ten. I'll say beforehand that I'm really sorry if I got any of the details wrong and I would be grateful if you could point out the errors in my work  (muses scream: there are so many! *wince*) 

Please review!


	2. chapter 1: an evil mage and his canary

A whisper. 

A rustle. 

The sun beat down remorselessly onto the clearing with not a cloud in the sky to block its fiery rays. It was _hot_. For a moment, Summersea wanted to forget about her mission and just go back to the ekele where it was nice and cool and where there was possible a nice, tall glass of iced juice waiting for her. And then she remembered Kirai's mocking jeers and half-closed her eyes instead as she listened to the almost imperceptible scratches in the bush below her. Kirai thought she couldn't trap, did he? Well, she was out here just to prove him wrong! That, she admitted privately, and she was getting sick of salted meat for dinner; fresh meat would taste wonderful with some basil and rosemary in stew.

A tree hare poked out its head cautiously, its bright, beady eyes ever alert as it considered the lure of tasty cabbage and thyme leaves in front of her. Its ears twitched once, then twice, swiveling uneasily. Summersea bit back a smile.

_Smart bunny.__ I guess you've heard the Shin'an saying too; that there is no such thing as a free meal. It was an unmated doe that was seasons too old to throw a litter and when she hopped forward suspiciously, her hind leg buckled a little as if it had been broken and left half-mended a long time ago. She was old, fat, and probably wily as a hungry bondbird, but greed was beginning to overcome caution as she moved closer several more hops, then paused to stare at the tempting fare. _

Summersea leaned farther off her tree branch, carefully placing her fingers around the gritty bark to keep any telltale rustle of leaves from betraying her.  Patiently, she tracked the hare's movement with her eyes, willing the animal to come a little closer, a little faster, as she silently pushed aside the foliage to get a clear shot.

A dead twig snapped off in her hand. 

The hare froze.

Summersea froze.

_Drat!_ The rabbit's whole body tensed, as if preparing to flee and for a few minutes, Summersea was sure that it would go darting back into the bush with a crackle and snap and there would go dinner tonight. Then the hare cautiously crept a little closer to the lure and Summersea allowed herself to relax marginally. 

_You almost lost her! _She mentally scolded herself. _Stop being so impatient and be more careful!_

After what seemed to be an eternity, the rabbit began to nibble on the outer edges of the leaf pile, and when nothing happened, she grew bolder, foraging for the carrots that lay juicily in the center.

Summersea grinned, taking careful aim with her hunting knife. _Bunny gets to eat salad, and I get to eat bunny. Thank you for your sacrifice, little sister. We will use your gift wisely. She flicked her wrist experimentally once and—_

"Summersea!!"

Summersea jerked her head up in surprise, taking her gaze off her prey for a split second, just as her twin come stumbling from out of the trees, snapping branches and making a general racket as he went. 

_Oh no no no no no!_

She swung back towards where the rabbit _was_….

…just in time to see it grab a carrot, give a mocking flip of its puffball tail, and bounce back into the bush. If tree hares could, Summersea was sure that it would have laughed at her too.

"No!" Summersea wailed, slumping against the branch. "I waited for her for _hours!! Summerwind, I could skewer you! Why couldn't you have waited another _second_ before you started crashing around like that?"_

Summerwind scowled irritably, brushing a bleached lock out of his eyes. "Mother's just about to skewer _you_. Or in your pursuit of rabbit stew, did you forget to take heed of the time?" Summersea blinked, consulting her inner time sense.

"Oh, Bright Lady!" With an ungainly wobble, she fell to the forest floor, roughly scrambling to her feet. "My magery classes!"

"Yes, your _magery_ classes!" Summerwind replied mockingly, following his sister's long-legged lope towards the Vale, "You know, that insignificant, two-hour session you have every morning with Master Featherblade? It's well past _noon__ now, closer to dinnertime actually, and you've already missed twice this week!"_

Not slowing down in her headlong rush,  Summersea cried, "I forgot! I don't mean to!"

Summerwind shook his head in disgust. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"Leave me alone! I can't be expected to remember _everything _that I'm supposed to be doing!"

"Unfortunately, you can't remember _any _of it and therein lies the problem!" He almost tripped on a raised root, barely righting himself before he plunged face first into the dirt. "Sometimes I wonder how you can be my twin. Ever since you got that stupid, hare-brained idea to go to K'Leshya—" Summersea stopped abruptly and swung around to slam her twin against a nearby tree.

"It—is—_not—stupid!" She emphasized each word with a slam of her fist against Summerwind's chest. "You're the one that's stupid. And hare-brained." She backed away, her emerald eyes flashing angrily, "And I'm sorry that I'm your twin! I couldn't help that either!" Summerwind's eyes widened, realizing a little too late that he had stuck his proverbial foot in his mouth._

"I didn't mean it like that, Summersea," Summerwind began placatingly, but she shook her head fiercely.

"No, you did. I can Feel it. But don't worry; I'm sure if you ask nicely, maybe Mother will give you another sister. And I'm sure _she'll want to be a Mage, just like the rest of the family!" Bitterly flinging the painful words at him, she ran off towards Featherblade's ekele, her feet thudding hard against the rich loam of the undergrowth._

::_Summer__—:: He felt the exact moment when she slammed down her shields, cutting him off in mid-thought.  ::—_sea._:: _

"Havens help me!" Summerwind dragged his fingers through his long hair, not caring that he was wrecking the careful feather and beadwork that had taken hours for the family hertasi, Tanny, to do. Not for the first time, Summerwind felt bewildered and completely out of element with his twin sister. _Whoever said twins understand each other better than normal people don't know how dead wrong they are. Sometimes, I don't understand her at all!_

What was wrong with becoming a mage? Summerwind grew up knowing the Tayledras responsibility to guard the leylines as magic slowly settled back into their former pathways and he knew Summersea knew it too. It was their duty, a familial obligation that had spanned _generations_. 

It had taken seven generations to even consider putting up temporary Gates in order to transfer foodstuff and non-organics from Vale to Vale, and even then, all of the mages still absolutely _refused_ to even _think of sending people across one of those unstable and oftentimes unreliable portals. But they said with careful observation and judicious tinkering, in another three generations or so, the Gates just _might_ be able to handle human travelers again. And that meant that everyone in the Vales with more than a hint of Mage Potential was very much encouraged into that line of work._

Moonwind was one of the strongest Adepts in K'Valdemar right now, just as his father had been before him, and his father before him. Summerwind expected that his older brother, Winterstag, would probably follow in the steps of their father too. To keep the leylines free and settling magic back into their former organized pathways was something of a family profession now, a great source of pride for all of them. 

For Summersea just to want to walk away from it all to become some kind of fighting foot-soldier….

Summerwind shook his head. He didn't understand. He didn't understand it at all.

~*~

Summersea's legs burned as she finally came to a stumbling halt outside Featherblade's tree. She slumped against the trunk for a moment, struggling to control her shudders, even as her heart pounded in steady tandem with her laboring gasps. But it wasn't _that long a run to Featherblade's ekele…was it because she was still upset with Summwind? Maybe. Probably, it was a little of both._

::_So__ you're finally here, youngling.:: the Mindvoice that fiilled her head was gentle and soothing with just a hint of spice that reminded her of cinnamon. Summersea looked up as Featherblade almost glided down the tree in his oddly graceful steps. ::_but your shields are slammed so tight  they almost vibrate and you run as if a pack of wyrsa were on your heels._::_

He finally alighted on the ground, his misty blue and gold bullion lined robes floating and fluttering around him as delicately as butterfly wings. His handsome features were twisted slightly in a frown, and he caught her chin in his hand, tipping her head back until she met his eyes.  "What has you so upset that I can't read you?" 

For a moment, Summersea's mind whirled. She didn't want to talk about it. He would probably be sympathetic, and Gods knew he agreed with her more than anyone else she'd talked to but still, no matter how much Summerwind and she didn't agree with things, their bond was intensely private and any disagreements they had were even more so. 

_What should I say? Perhaps that Summerwind put snakes in my shoes and I'm blocking him? It wouldn't be the first time…but then he'll say that's a childish answer and insist that I take off the blocks. I was upset that Father accidentally set fire to the ekele because of a failed experiment? No…that's just stupid since news like _that_ travels fast and it would be all over the Vale right now!  And besides, Father does his work in a magically contained ekele on the far edge of the Vale. Mother cooked breakfast? Well, her porridge _does_ taste like it's been steeped in bitterweed and hemlock, but I don't think that he would believe that excuse. Some evil mage put it up to punish me for stealing his canary??_

…

_That last excuse doesn't even make sense, Havens curse it. Why do I have to be so bad at lying!?_

"Summersea?" He was still waiting for an answer, his expression growing even more concerned.

He wasn't going to drop it. There was only one thing to do in this situation.

Play dumb. 

"Uh…mm…..I didn't even realize my shields were up. I guess I was being a really good student and practicing outside class? Or no…wait, I hate magery. Why would I be practicing outside class? Stupid stupid……maybe I was trying to keep the tree hare from reading my thoughts because I was thinking about really juicy rabbit stew? But animals don't have mind-gifts so that really won't work. Erm….." She took a deep breath and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "It was an evil mage and his canary."

Teacher and pupil stared at each other for a second. 

"Drat it, I was thinking _not to say that!" _

"Indeed." There was a hint of dryness in Featherblade's voice. "You never were very good at lying, you know. And it doesn't help that you're tossing out excuses then refuting them yourself. If more people were like you, it would make the Truth Spell absolutely obsolete."

She flushed. "I'm sorry I'm late, Featherblade." Summersea got out in a rush, "I—"

"Slow down." Featherblade interrupted soothingly. "Take your time and rest a little. You were running pretty hard from what I could sense."

Summersea smiled gratefully, both at the consideration and his decision not to pry. With his flowing white hair and eyes that had been kind even when she was a toddler, Featherblade had always been like an uncle to her, supporting hands when she fell, a listening ear when she had first dreamed up the idea of being a Silver Gryphon. He had also been there to comfort her with a sweet cup of _chava__ one week ago when her family had dismissed her declaration as the childish fantasies of a sixteen year old girl._

He sat down on the grass beside the tree, and after a moment, Summersea joined him. 

"I am really sorry about being late…again." 

Featherblade chuckled. "When I was your age, I was never on time for classes. I was always poking around the edges of the forest for magical creatures and Change Beasts and my Master had to haul me in by my hair when our learning sessions started. So how can I blame you for doing the exact thing? Living on the outskirts of the Peligars is fascinating. One can't help but feel the need to explore every inch of it."

"Yes," A strangely dreamy look came across Summersea's eyes that had Featherblade grinning.

"Ah, a kindred spirit. Dare I guess that that was what you were doing all morning then?"

Summersea blinked, then smiled sheepishly. "Something like that. Kiria said that humans are worthless hunters with no talons or beak to speak of and if humans were bad, Mages were the worst of that lot. She said that even if we tried to be quiet, we'd alert our prey before we got within three feet of it and that if it were left up to us, we'd have no fresh meat for _days and would probably starve and die."_

Featherblade grimaced. "Sad, but true. And that would explain your previous tree hare comment. I had wondered about that."

The young girl grinned and shook her head. "He has this really sharp sense of humor."

"I gathered," The mage muttered, his expression so comical that Summersea had to laugh, "And then?"

"And then he challenged me to prove him wrong and said that if I actually could, he'd let me pluck one of his loose primaries so I could work it into a braided hair-tie." Summersea sighed wistfully, leaning her head against the trunk of the trea as she remarked forlornly, "I had this really beautiful design worked out too. Leather inlayed with silverwood. Beaded clasp and chain entwined with some of her painted secondaries. It would have gone beautifully as a birthing day present for Neema's new baby."

"I assume you weren't able to catch the rabbit then?" he leaned back with a sigh, "It is always hard to prove your bondbird wrong when it comes to the hunt. That's one thing that they always excel at and humans, without knives or some other sort of fashioned weapon, do not." 

"Well it was a close thing! The doe came right under my tree." Her face fell into unhappy lines as she remembered what came after that, "And then I got a little….distracted." _And royally reamed by my brother._

"Ah." Featherblade waited a moment, but his student didn't volunteer any more information. When it was apparent that the silence was growing uncomfortable, he stood up, dusting the grass stains from his robe with his long fingers. "Well in any case, you're rested and I'm fresh, so let's practice controlling that Gift of yours, shall we?" 

A long-suffering groan was his only answer but Summersea was all too happy to get off that subject and got obediently to her feet.

"What are we going to do today? Should I call in Kirai?" She closed her eyes and Featherblade could almost hear the quick flickering conversation between her and her bondbird. It went on for a little more than half a minute, but when she opened her eyes, she was frowning. "He won't come. He's sunning up there with your Gryth and he's just eaten and wants to sleep it off." She sighed, "And he also added something along the lines of 'Hah hah hah. Knew you couldn't do it'."

Her teacher smiled. "Don't worry. We won't need Kirai today."

She examined his face warily, "I don't like it when you grin like that. Somehow it doesn't inspire trust."

Featherblade actually threw back his head, his laugh musical and so deep that it seemed to reverberate out of his chest. "Don't worry," He repeated soothingly, "It'll be easy."

And he set out immediately to teach her all new meanings of the word 'easy', a definition of 'easy' that seemed to be anything _but_.

Easy? HAH! That was a laugh!

The lesson was _grueling, and by the end, sweat had soaked through her shirt in damp patches and she almost collapsed as soon as the last flare of mage energy was flung at her. She was tired, trembling on legs that were barely supporting her, and somewhere between dodging Levin bolts and deflecting the more physical thrown rocks, the band that had held her hair at the nape of her neck had snapped off, leaving her long, snarled hair to fall down to her waist in a tumble of brown, gold, and platinum. Not only did it leave her hair hopelessly ensnarled, but the few sparks that had gotten through her barriers left small burn spots smoking on her leather jerkin, furthering her appearance as a rag a bag.  _

She eyed Featherblade owlishly as she examined her clothing , muttering under her breath. "Tanny is beginning to hate our sessions together. You're a bane on new clothes. She says she's resewing and patching our clothes so much that in another month, they will be nothing of the old material in it."

He grinned back at her, smoothing out his own barely wrinkled gold and blue robes a trifle smugly. "You'll improve as you go. You _are_ getting better all the time."

"Of course I am. I'm getting better all the time, even when I come home with the same amounts of burn spots on my clothes and some in rather…embarrassing places." She rubbed the new hole in the seat of her pants pointedly, feeling some of the ash crumble against her palm. "I think that even if I weren't, you would say I was, just to sooth my pride in not being as good as Summerwind or Winterstag."

"Summerwind and Winterstag will grow up to be very good Mages when they grow up," Featherblade acknowledged calmly. 

"Exemplary mages. Just like Mother and Father," Summersea agreed lightly. She bent down to search around for her broken hair-tie, calling over her shoulder, "Could you use some of that magic and help me find that dratted hair band? I seem to have lost it somewhere in the grass."

"Sadly, Scrying is not one of my main talents," Featherblade got to his knees as well, running his hand lightly across the grass in an attempt to find it through all the thick undergrowth. "How _are you and your family lately?" His tone held a hint of more than that gentle question, but Summersea ignored it, flashing him a smile._

"We're wonderful. The Gate Project that Father is working on is getting nearer and nearer to completion; they've got most of the calculations down and are checking and rechecking the numbers, just in case. And Mother finally found a girl in town that has Empathy to be her apprentice."

"Summersea—"

"She's thinking that the girl will probably make a great MindHealer when all her power is firmly netted under her skin. Before Mother found her, she said that the girl, her name is Asuka by the way, was broadcasting like a teleson."

"Summersea—"

"And Winterstag finally made Journeyman! We're so proud of him, and Summerwind is positively _green_ with jealousy at all the attention he's getting. He swears that he's going to take the Test next year and he's working hard to pass it too. I'm helping as best I can, but…" She laughed a little, her voice slightly suffocated, "you know that he's way ahead of me in his studies so I can't do much."

An arm slipped around her shoulders, and suddenly she was enveloped by Featherblade's robes as he held her against her chest. She swallowed convulsively, knotting her hands in his immaculate robes.

"I can't find my hair tie….the grass is too long." She whispered hoarsely, "You need to get someone to trim it and pull some out or else the grassroots are going to choke the tree. It can't get enough water or nutrients."

He reply, other than to simply say, "You are allowed to cry sometimes, Summersea."

"No, I really mustn't. Any more water on that grass and its going to grow another three inches. Then you'll never be able to cut it. It'll probably cut _you." She smiled up at him, but though her cheeks were dry, her eyes were suspiciously bright. When the quip couldn't coax an answering smile to his face, she sighed. "You're worrying too much, Uncle. I am perfectly fine and my parents…are fine too."_

"I see." He studied her with intent blue eyes and Summersea had the uneasy feeling that he saw more than she wanted him to, "Then are the Vale and town children still calling you names?" 

Her eyes slid away from his. "No…not really. They…haven't since last summer." _I've been avoiding them so technically, they can't call me names if I'm not there. _

His slight snort told her he didn't believe her. "You _have_ told your parents that they've been—"

She glared at him, "Really," She insisted, "I'm fine. The others stopped calling me names a long time ago so there's no reason to carry tales now. It would just get Mother and Father upset for no reason at all!" When he was about to retort, she shook her head, pleading, "Won't you just let it go? I said everything's fine!"

He studied her silently for a moment. "Okay, he said quietly, "Okay, I understand. But…" he hesitated then continued warningly, "_If _in the event that something _was _wrong and in that _if you don't tell someone, it's going to keep on growing in your chest until it finally bursts. And with your Gift, it would be a very large explosion." For a moment, she looked torn, a lost looking muddying the clear green of her eyes and she seemed on the verge of saying something when a shrill cry caused both of them to snap their heads up. _

Kirai arrowed down on his bonded as if drawn by a magnet, his wings held close to his body in a sharp dive. Instinctively, Summersea held out her arm for him to land and was immediately assailed by a combination of fear/alarm/concern as Kirai bobbed his head anxiously, hopping up her arm  to rest at her shoulder. He preened her sweaty hair and snuffled against her neck like a lapdog trying to make sure she was safe and unhurt.

::_I'm__ fine.::_

::_Not__.:: He replied shortly, and went back to his investigation, distractedly nibbling at her earlobes as he clung to her hair, trying to switch shoulders._

She chuckled, her emotions once more firmly in hand. "He's worried about me." She explained, "Silly bird."

Featherblade just sighed, folding his hands together. "I'm sure he has ample reason to be. But," He held out a hand, "I won't say anything more tonight, and I'm sure you don't want to hear me say more. But just remember, if you ever want to talk…"

"You'll be the first person I seek out," She promised immediately. Careful not to knock Kirai off her shoulder, she gave the older mage a quick hug. "Thank you for trying to find my tie for me, but I'm afraid it's a lost cause."

"Very probably," Her mentor agreed. "You should run home now; your Tanny is probably warming dinner and she won't be pleased if you weren't there to enjoy it."

She blinked. "I didn't even notice how dark it was getting." She turned to go, then hesitated, fiddling absently with the loose ends of her long hair. Then, almost reluctantly, she turned back and said, "Featherblade, can you…well, you see, my parents are…"

"I won't say a thing." He replied solemnly and she looked a trifle relieved.

"Okay then, thanks! I'll see you tomorrow!" With a wave and a somewhat strained smile, she took off, Kirai squawking indignantly at the jouncing pace she set. Even after she had run off, Featherblade watched the glowing path lights somberly for a long time before he went up to his own ekele. His thoughts were on more than just missing hair ties and his too-long grass.

~*~

It _was late. Summersea grimaced a little as she gingerly pulled back the flap of the ekele, letting it fall silently behind her as she stepped out of her shoes. She opened her mouth to call out but before she could, her mother's soft voice carried to her, quiet and worried._

"I don't even know what's wrong with that girl anymore, Moonwind. Ever since she mentioned going to K'Leshya, she's forgotten all her responsibilities. Summerwind didn't say it, but I'm sure that she didn't go to Featherblade's ekele to practice again." Her father's words were quieter, a mere rumble and Summersea couldn't make it out. She clamped her mouth shut, biting her lips so hard that she tasted copper at the tip of her tongue. Kirai started to hiss again.

::_Quiet__, Kirai.::_

::_You__ are unhappy! You—:: He spread his wings up in vexation, mantling a little until Summersea pressed a hand to his beak and he subsided grudgingly._

"We had her tested, and she has the Potential but she's not _using_ it! Winterstag and Summerwind are ahead of her in all aspects of training and one wonders if she even tries anymore. She's not improving at all! She's a well brought up girl, but if she doesn't train, what good can she ever be? If she applied her concentration to actually studying magery instead of attaching herself to the scouts like a limpet…but everything she doesn't! Everything she does is half-hearted. And when we try to correct her, all she does is cry." 

_I do try, _Summersea cried silently.  _You don't understand how hard I try. But then she remembered all those time that she had _not _tried, all those times when she had only skimmed her books and all those times she had been late for her classes. She hadn't wanted to go…wanted to stay near the hunters and the scouts and the occasional visiting gryphon. They had been so much more interesting…._

She pressed her fingers against her mouth to hold back a sob. Tears formed at the corner of her eyes but she pushed them back violently. She wouldn't be accused of always crying again. She _did_ always cry, almost as much as an eight year old or infant. She was too old to cry. She wouldn't cry.

Her father was rumbling again but Sera cut him off, "Well, I'm a parent, it's my _duty to be worried about my child! Especially when she's behaving so very _oddly_…" _

Summersea hadn't realized that she had been slowly back away from the sound of her parents voice until the back of her foot connected with the wall of the ekele with an audible thump. 

"Summersea? Winterstag? Summerwind? Are you back?" Immediately, Sera broke of the conversation and walked rapidly towards the door, but when arrived in the common room, the door flap was still tied neatly to the frame and there was no one there.

Tbc…..

**Preview to the next chapter:**

_Can you run far enough tonight?_

She pushed herself harder, feeling her legs scream with pain. Her breath was already wild, ragged and her body protested from having to work again so soon after Featherblade's training session.

_Can you?_

She drew a ragged breath and felt her chest cramp. 

_Can you?_

_No.          _

Yeah, it's only a snippet….I hope to get the next part up next, next week.

**Now it's time for one of my favorite parts:**

**Magdellin**: thanks for clearing up what's what Vale and where! I was very worried that I got everything completely wrong and that all the hardcore Mercedes Lackey fans out there contemplating a burning-at-the-stake episode. Yes, unfortunately, all my books are down in Southern California and I'm….not. T_T I need the Fetching gift to bring them to me…that or Foresight so I would have foreseen the need for my books! Also thank you for your encouragement and I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint you, (too badly). ^^:; I hope that nothing else in this chapter is too obviously wrong!

**Trina Ti**: Thank you! I'm kind of new at this (points at very empty profile page) and when I reread the prologue, I was like "err….what am I DOING??? WHAT AM I WRITING??? I can't do this…omg, no way no way no way!" and was on a knife's edge of scrapping the whole thing (before it even started. As usual. I think that's my life's story. Anyone else out there like me?).  But somehow, I got this chapter written and I hope that you continue to enjoy this.

**Sage Twilight**: ^^;; I don't know if you would call this soon, but I guess compared to some writers who take months per chapter, this is going at somewhat of a good pace. Although truthfully, the people that take months to write usually write beautifully and I…..don't. xP  But still, I felt the need to exercise my brain cells, which have been laying dormant ever since Winter break and they're slowly creaking back to life again (with much complaint and clinging-to-oblivion, I might add) and I hope that as I continue to write, I'll improve.

Thank you to those that read and most of all, to those who reviewed! Please give me feedback? I'll give you cookies….*shameless bribery* 


	3. chapter 2: running

_How fast can you run? ._

Summersea's feet pounded against soil as she fled the ekele blindly. Somewhere above her, she knew that Kirai was aloft, following her even though his night sight was horrible. The muddle of emotion in her own mind kept her from being able to hear his Mindcall; the sound of her blood pulsing at her temple drowned out the sound of his desperate keening. Running. She seemed to be doing a lot of it lately, trying to flee some intangible fear, from low voices that spoke to her from the shadows…

Trying to run from herself.   

_How many times must you run?_

The wind ripped away any sob that might have come out of Summersea's mouth and her vision was curiously blurred. In the place of the clear sight, she saw only dancing blobs of color and light to differentiate between 'lamplight', 'path', 'tree', and 'ekele'. She opened her mouth, dragging oxygen into her lungs as she ran, her stride lengthening until she felt as if she could run faster than a dyheli, faster than the foaming rapids of a river. And still, the exertion didn't bring about the usual blessed numbness of her mind. The little voice still mocked her with unanswerable questions.

_Can you run far enough tonight?_

She pushed herself harder, feeling her legs start to cramp. Her breath was already wild, ragged, and the stitch in her side was rapidly developing into full-blown pain. Logically, she knew she should stop. She was pushing her body too hard without the proper stretches first. But she didn't want to stop. She was going somewhere, she felt like she was getting somewhere, beating out the frustration by punishing her body. Stretching sinew, muscle, and ligament until they burned. Making every nerve scream.

And still, the question remained. 

_Can you?_

She drew a breath and felt the muscles in her chest twitch spasmodically, clutching at her heart like a giant fist.

_Can you?_

_No._

Her feet stopped and she dropped to her hands and knees like a stone. There was nothing planned or expected about the sudden fall; it was a collapse, pure and simple, and for a second, black tinged the blurriness of her vision, threatening her with nausea and oblivion. Suddenly, a large, feathered body slammed against her shoulder, and a defiant screech shot excruciating darts of noise through her already throbbing head.

::_Stupid__!:: Kirai screamed both mentally and physically, and the power of his anger penetrated even her malaise. His wings were flared and his long, cruel talons bit unthinkingly into her shoulder, leaving long scratches to bleed crimson into her shirt. __ ::__Stupid__ stupid! Cannot see at night! Should not fly at night!:: _

::_I'm__ sorry…::_

::_Sorry__ not good enough!:: His continuing screams nearly deafened her. ::_Killing___ yourself! Killing **me! Not want to die because foolish bonded crazy!::**_

When Summersea only stared at him with uncomprehending, dazed eyes, he darted in front of her face and shrieked. ::_Wake__ up!:: _

Instinctively, Summersea reared away as his beak snapped a scant centimeter from her nose and her foot slipped, sending her from her hands and knees to sprawling on her stomach. The pungent scent of wet grasses filled her nostrils, and a shudder went through her body, followed by another and another, until she couldn't seem to stop the wracking trembles that coursed through her. 

Memory and sanity finally pierced the hot, blank haze and Summersea shivered even harder as cold air struck sweat-dampened skin and clinging, wet clothes and she rocked herself slightly, curling her body into a fetal ball. "Lady Goddess…." Her voice was a croaked, hoarse whisper and instinctively, she held out her arms to her bondbird, seeking warmth in the down of his feathers and comfort in the mind-presence that was like an anchor to cling to in the middle of a storm. With a creeling moan, he dove against her chest, rubbing his head against her chest, pushing against her as if he was trying to burrow _into_ her, trying to make sure that she was really sane and whole.

"I'm sorry…" Summersea repeated. She couldn't seem to say anything else as she stroked Kirai's long, silky pinions, scratching behind his ear tuffs and in his breast feathers. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…." Her voice was ragged, harsh from exertion but her mind, her eyes, were remarkably clear. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…."

::_Must__ stop running from __me.__:: Kirai hissed fiercely, and Summersea could feel the pain behind his words as emotion and thought became one, drumming against her Shields like a tangible entity of roiling darkness and flashing color. He had become increasingly worried for her and all she did was push him away, enclose herself in a shell of self-pity and isolation without caring what anyone else thought, including her bondbird. She never told him what was wrong; he could only make educated guesses and act on them the best he could.  He was worried, he was afraid…._

…he was going into early molt. And he didn't _like_ losing feathers in early spring!

The last wrung a reluctant laugh from somewhere deep in Summersea's chest and she cuddled closer around the distressed falcon, murmuring reassurance against the top of his head. ::_I'm__ sorry, Kirai. I haven't been normal this week…::_

Kirai gave a human-like snort. _::Haven't been normal since hatched:: He replied snappishly, more like his usual, sarcastic self__ ::Been stranger than usual….longer than this week. This week bad, worse, worst of all. Could not Feel you at all this week.:: He swiveled his eye to glare up at her sternly. ::_Did___ not like feeling alone. Is reason that birds bond to chosen one, so never need feel such way.::_

Summersea gave him a tired half-smile. "I'm sorry. I've been acting stupid."

::_Very__.:: Kirai agreed mercilessly. ::_Expect___ it of humans. No such thing as a logical human:: He flipped his wings once, swiveling his head to and fro for a moment in thought before he added hesitantly. ::_Nest___ is no longer a good place for you though. Might be time for us_…_:: he emphasized the word with a snap of his beak ::….__go soon. Nestling does not stay in parents care forever.::_

Summersea sighed dispiritedly, still scratching soothingly behind Kirai's eartuffs. "Leaving sounds wonderful at this point, but where would we go? How would we get there? I'm only a girl, and you're only a bird, albeit the best bondbird that anyone in K'Valdemar could ask for. Mother and Father would never allow me to go."

Kirai was quiet for a moment, before he said softly, deliberately, ::_Girl__ cannot. Bird cannot. But Silver can.:: He looked at the suddenly silent girl, his yellow falcon's eye tense and wary. ::__Do_ you not wish to be a Silver?_::_

Something knotted against Summersea's windpipe, making it hard to breath. She tightened her fingers convulsively into Kirai's long feathers, not hard enough to hurt but firmly enough to show her agitation. "I want to be," She breathed, "I'd do anything…."

::_Want__ is not good enough.:: Kirai reprimanded. ::_Must___ do_ it. Like first time flying must open wings and flap.::__

Excitement coursed through her veins and she almost trembled, and yet, a part of her, the logical, careful part of her, hesitated. "Do you think I can?"

::_Does__ the fledgling think she can?:: Kirai retorted peevishly. _

"I—"

::_Not__ make decision now. Obviously not ready; think before act.:: The bondbird flipped his wings authoritatively, ::_Also no food. No place finder. Cannot live without. Sleep. Wait. Prepare.::__

Summersea sighed. "I guess you're right."

_I don't want to go back. I want to go now...but….without food? Without a map or weapons? How long would I survive? _Summersea shook her head contemptuously at herself. Even though she wasn't a Silver yet, she knew that the forests were a dangerous place, especially with all the ChangeBeasts prowling the jungles, magically enhanced, warped, and crazed by the cataclysmic Mage Winds.

Better to plan carefully…

_If you really think you can do this…_a voice whispered mockingly in her mind.  _If you think you can really do this, you foolish youngling._

"Stop." She ordered herself harshly, and then blushed as Kirai turned an inquiring glance upon her. She shook her head. 

_Everything's fine,_ she said softly, _I need to think about this. I need to make sure I can do this._

Yellow raptors eyes gleamed in the darkness, and Summersea knew that Kirai saw more behind these words than she said. 

Without the snapping retort he usually leveled on what he thought was human stupidity, he thought simply ::_Sea is a wide place to cross for gulls to land in nesting grounds. Might not make it. Might not ever see it. But all attempt it because is just _**must**_. Is instinct. Is part of self.  Will Summersea fly across sea or will she just watch waves?:: When the girl made no response, he shrugged and turned his thoughts back to his dinner. Or, he reminded her peevishly, his lack __of since he had been required to chase her wing lengths out of the Vale._

"Alright, alright," she agreed, just a little reluctantly. "Let's start heading home." Rising to her feet (and feeling the twinges in her leg muscles that signaled strain), she began to walk in the directions of the distant, bobbing lanterns. Noting the stretch of darkness between them and the Vale, she remarked, a little surprised, "That was a long run. I'm surprised that a beast didn't think to follow me." 

Kirai opened his beak in a soundless laugh. ::_Maybe__  afraid **you** would eat **it**.::_

Summersea considered it, and shook her head, smiling a little wryly. "Probably."

*~*

The next few days were hellish.

Not in the sense of too much work, or probing questions from her family. Even her parents, throwing wary, disapproving glances in her direction after her late arrival, had seemed to back away from the subject after a brief scold on staying out late. Summerwind had apologized so it wasn't that either. 

No it was not because of family, acquaintances, teachers, magic, or Mages. It was simply that the need to go and the compulsion to stay had began a war inside her heart and mind, tearing away at her until it became a physical ache. 

Her heart whispered at her to go, urging her towards the unknown shadows that reached star-whispered, murky fingers towards her, beckoning her with the soft, tantalizing murmurs of the winds. It promised adventures, excitement….perhaps….just perhaps….a road to acceptance by someone, professionally and socially. The wide expanse of unexplored forest, the leaves only a far off silver gleam in the sunlight, the interior, dark and tantalizing….

Her mind screamed a reprimand, shirking away in horror at the very thought. Changebeasts, unknown dangers lay within the darkness, gold-slitted eyes flickered hungrily, cloaked within the concealing foliage. Swamps and bogs to trap an unwary traveler, undrinkable water, spoiled meat, death; they were undeniable drawbacks to her too rational mind. And guilt, heavy and thick like too sweet molasses, dripping through every pore of her for even thinking of betraying her family, those who loved her, those who had raised her and had high expectations of her.

Impossible.

Impossible to go, impossible to stay. 

To do either would hurt someone, her, her family, her Vale….__

_Calm.__ When she realized her panicked thoughts were going in circles of borderline hysteria, she firmly ordered her mind to blank, imagining a single skein of unending seas, thick threads of sunlight weaving glowing sparkles in the blue waters. She stretched the image across her mind until her mind's eye was half-blinded by the reflections of the water and she could almost scent….taste….the salty moisture and feel the summer heat roll of her shoulders in waves._

She breathed in deeply, letting her body settle into a state of unseeing relaxation before she cast her mind upward in a wordless plea for guidance from the Star-Eyed One. To have formed a specific wish would have been like asking for a mound of gold set at her feet in that instant; possible, but improbable that the Goddess would answer such a foolish request. Instead, she gathered her emotions to her, letting everything, quicksilver desire, fear, uncertainty, determination, duty, guilt, and when she could almost feel heat rise from the intensity of it all, she released it into the four winds, hoping that someone, somewhere, would hear and aid her in her decision. 

_Guidance….please answer…I need guidance…_

She held her breath for a second, her heart skipping a beat or two. Then she blew it out in mingled relief and exasperation when nothing happened. _Idiot.__ She chided herself, rising to her feet. __The Gods only help once you can do no more. You've asked, which is all you can do. Now you figure it out to the best of your ability and hope someone's looking to make sure you aren't messing up any divine plans. She glanced up at the position of the sun and with another sigh, rose to her feet and called Kirai to her._

He alighted on her outstretched hand, his expression quizzical. ::_Made__ decision?::_

"Nope. But I have to go home now. Do you want to come with me or stay and hunt?"

Kirai clacked his beak meditatively, ::_Will__ stay and hunt. Food is good in ekele but better when fresh.::_

"Okay, come back when you're finished."

Kiria bobbed his head, nibbling at her fingers and then flung himself up and away into the trees. Summersea made tracks for her ekele. Magic lessons again. Then Mother needed help with the rug that she was braiding.

Life in the Vale went on…

A flash of blue whirled amidst the green placidity of the trees, a troubled gaze watching the girl as she loped away towards the Vale. _I know you hear her, my Goddess. But do you find this child's wishes worthy of Your intervention?_

A light laugh, and the face of the Mother flickered in the shadows, so faint it could have merely been mistaken for the random patterning of the leaves. She was insubstantial as air, this ghost of a tenderly smiling woman, her stark golden features delicate-boned and graceful. Sable locks tumbled about her face in wild, thin braids, blowing in an imaginary wind that no one else felt. A pretty woman, but you might see the same person walking through the tall-grassed plains of the Shin'an or watching you from the high perches of the Telydras forest. She was utterly ordinary….until you saw her eyes. 

Her eyes had brought armies to her feet; her cold, glittering, star-filled gaze made kings fall from their thrones, trembling in awe and fear as they touched their foreheads to the floors of their own throne room. Those two windows into an otherworldly realm swallowed you if you looked into them too long; you could feel your soul departing from your body, drowning willingly in the black and silver enigma of her stare.

She smiled now, her features gentled in the face of the Mother. _She is such a child. Naïve, foolish…so young! _

_She has a strong heart._

The Goddess considered the one whose thoughts had summoned Her, her fathomless star-filled eyes distant. _A strong heart that is breaking._ She finally said, _She__ will shatter. And her family shall have what they wish for when she breaks: another Mage._

A fist clenched. _She would be wasted. She has neither the will nor the wish to be one._

_But she will eventually be a good one. Not excellent, not exceptional, but good nonetheless. In time, I believe she will be accepted in the Vale as one of their own. _The stars in her eyes twinkled vivaciously, as if in some private amusement. 

_You will not help her?_

_She is not ready for Me. Perhaps in time. _Noting her companion's slumped shoulders and frustration, she added soothingly, _Have faith in the one that you protect. Have you not said that her heart is strong? Then trust in that heart, incomplete, crack-ridden though it is, to continue this fight. Do you truly believe that this child will allow herself to be a casualty in this personal war? She smiled gently. __She is stronger than even you give her credit for, my raven. _

Knowing that he would get no other assurance from Her, he asked impulsively, _But You will look out for her?_

A soft, chiming laugh stole through the trees, caressing and encouraging. _Of course! When children are troubled, are not their mothers there to cover them with warmth and comfort? I shall be the star that she looks towards when she raises her heads to the skies. I will watch her through the eyes of her young Kirai and walk beside her, though she sees me not. She faded into trees, her silvery voice adding softly, _For___ after all, is she not one of Mine?_

_***_

Unaware of this discussion of her character, Summersea concentrated on the ripples of power in the leylines, half-tranced as she watched silver bolts of lightning crackle around her twin's still form. They were sitting two bodylengths from each other, each of their power spinning around their inert bodies restlessly, as active and energetic as they were not. 

Kakara, named after the sound of the lightning snapping as it cascaded down to earth.  It was a game they often played in practice and the rules were so simple, that even five year olds that showed a hint of Gift could understand it.

Ten balls of power that could be manipulated into any shape, no active shields, no physical attack. The goal was simple: penetrate your opponent's defenses and capture.

Summersea's lips curved in a small smile. This was a good way to work off some frustration with the Fates for giving her so many decisions to make. When physical exercise couldn't cut it, there was nothing so satisfying as pitting yourself against someone that everybody knew was stronger than you. 

So what if she wasn't even half as good as her brother when it came to controlling the Gift? Power didn't matter here, just how you positioned, attacked, and countered.  It was a tactician's game for the most part. 

_Her_ game.

Without giving time for her brother to martial his defenses, she spun her orbs towards him in quick darting blows, little threads of lightning sizzling and flickering angrily whenever their spheres clashed against each other. As Summersea sank deeper into her trance, reaching for the threads of power that lay within her, her commands became quicker, easier Before long, the swift, probing attacks became more intricate, the colors more dazzling, until the arena between them was festooned in dripping ribbons that cascaded and writhed, sputtering like fireworks on a festival day.

On the periphery of her mind's eye, she noted that some of the Vale's people had stopped to 'ooh' and 'aaah' at the brilliant light's display and murmuring approvingly at some strike or counter. She could also feel her brother's smugness and pride because of it. She grinned, reaching out to give him an admonishing mental tap.

_::Concentrate, vain peacock::_

Her brother started a little in surprise and she Felt his amusement as if it were her own. 

::_There's__ no fault in liking to be the center of attention.::_

_::And saying that, you lose._::

Summerwind, distracted, couldn't react fast enough as she gave _all her spheres a hard twist to the right, disengaging her frontal attack abruptly. In a blink of the eye, she sent them spiraling wide, twisting their individual fields of energy into one glowing spear of power, and drove _through_ the sparse defense at his side, and overwhelming his guarding spheres with sheer number. Not even sparing a moment to disentangle the mass, she zipped them towards Summerwind, halting them a mere two inches from his very surprised face._

::_Yield__.::_

::_As__ if I had any other choice:: _

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed his own spheres of energy and rose to his feet, shaking out the creases in his colorful costume. 

"If you weren't my twin, I'd be predisposed to hate your very liver," Summerwind said wryly as he walked over to her. "I never understand how you can always win at Kakara and completely muddle even the simplest of spells."

"Simple." Summersea replied cheerfully. She raised her arms to her brother and he hauled her to her feet, helping her dust the grass stains from her shirt and pants. "You watch your audience. I watch you. I kill you."

"You basically do the same thing with Featherblade in your magic lessons, and you never do so well."

"That's different, context of the lesson is completely unalike." Summersea retorted, "His lessons are bent on dredging up every smidgen of Gift Potential from Gods knows where and controlling it. Here, you know exactly what you have, where you have them, and how to use them." She paused, then smirked, "Besides, Featherblade's _old_. He's had _decades_ of experience to make him sneaky and evil."

"I'll thank you not to disparage me behind my back, youngling, especially when you know that I'm behind yours." A dry voice emerged behind the siblings and Featherblade, in his all his swirling, storm-cloud colored finery, cocked an eyebrow at his pupils. "I'm still young enough to be able to whip your hide."

"If you could catch me." Summersea replied outrageously. 

Featherblade chuckled and put a one hand on Summersea's shoulder, the other on her brother's. "You're both growing very nicely into your powers, even though your sister is right and you _should be paying attention to what you're doing, Summerwind, and not how many people are watching you do it." Summerwind flushed at the admonishing gaze the older man leveled on him._

"Yes, Featherblade."

"Good lad. Now be on your way; Starsong specifically asked me to look for you and ask if you would be interested in helping him on one of those knick-knack projects of his." Summerwind immediately brightened, his eyes glowing and Summersea had to grin at the way he forgot even to say goodbye as he tore off towards his mentor's ekele, almost tumbling into several lingering onlookers in his haste.

"See, that is the way a pupil should act toward her teacher." Featherblade said.

Summersea laughed and reached up to tug affectionately on one of his long, flowing locks. "Nah. If I did that to my teacher, it would get to his head and inflate his ego to monstrous proportions."

Featherblade shook his head, a long-suffering sigh escaping past his lips. "What teacher deserves such treatment?" He glanced down at Summersea with twinkling eyes that belied his woeful claim. "Especially when said teacher has a compromise that might soothe any ruffled feathers between you and your mother."

"Wha—? Tell!" Summersea demanded, not daring to hope. "You have that I-know-something-that-you-don't grin on your face again!"

"Patience youngster." Featherblade laughed, "Give an _old_ man time to gather his wits." 

Summersea groaned. "If I say sorry, will you tell me?"

"I might."

"I'm sorry for calling you old, sneaky, and evil, now please tell me!"

"That didn't seem very sincere, but since I'm such a magnanimous person…." Featherblade gathered the young woman to him, steering her gently towards the shade of a nearby tree. "There are things that you must know of your mother first. Sera is a wonderful woman, caring, devoted, determined." Something in Featherblade's eye stopped her from making the sharp retort on the tip of her tongue that this had nothing to do about his so-called solution. She bit her lip and prepared to listen. "But hers is a hard life. She's not Vale-born and unconsciously, people react to that; they did not accept her wholeheartedly in the beginning either, Summersea, or did she not tell you?"

Summersea blushed and muttered an indecipherable reply under her breath. She hadn't realized that part.

"Well, she wasn't. So she tries to make herself as Taleydras as she can…and because you carry her features," unconsciously, Summersea fingered her wheat-gold hair uneasily, "she has to make doubly sure that you are someone that these people can trust and look up to you when you grow older."

"Well, they don't." Summersea said, not quite able to hide her bitterness. "I'm not one of the townspeople and I'm not truly Tayledras."

"That's why she pushes you so hard to become a mage. Summersea, no matter who a person is, townfolk, Valdemerian, Tayedras, or Ghost Cat, they will all give due respect to a Mage, half-born or not.  Especially one with a heritage of Earth Healing and strong Gift on her father's side. Your mother's reasoning, as fallacious as it may be, is that if her children are mages, they will be accepted into society. No matter how it may look like to you, she has always tried to look out for your welfare."

Summersea lowered her eyes, a little ashamed, "I know that, I guess. It's just that it's been awful, trying to be something I'm not, like being cast adrift in a sea on a dingy without a sail, and not being able to even use the wind to push you in the right direction. You know you're going about this all wrong, but someone else is always controlling whatever you do." She raised unhappy eyes to her teacher. "I've really tried to not complain about it, Featherblade, but…"

"But you can't help feeling resentful." Featherblade finished softly.  "And it's normal. Which is why we come to the compromise part of things. You're mother wants you to be a mage, and you do have the potential to be one, but," He raised a hand to stave of her protest. "perhaps not the kind that she is trying to mold you into being." He hesitated a little, gauging Summersea's response before saying carefully, "I know of a shaman in the Ghost Cats, one that specializes in defensive and offensive magic. It wouldn't exactly be trying out for the Silvers," He smiled wryly, "In addition to getting magical training, you'll still probably be slogging through mud, getting physical training every day until every single part of your body aches, getting pounded by barrages of physical, nonphysical, astral, attacks until your mind can't distinguish reality from imagination any more. The Ghost Cats are hard masters, but not unkind, and not unfair."

"Defensive magic?" Summersea asked, a little dazed, "Like tactics. Like Kakara?"

"Tactics, quick thinking, strategy, yes, except on a _much_ larger scale than Kakara." Featherblade smiled at her rapt expression, "In some ways, it'll be harder than what you're doing now. You'll have to know every single foot of the surrounding miles rather than just the individual leylines that are running through it. Every tree, stem of grass, even the dirt in the ground before you're even going to get started on the magical part of your training. You're perceptions of everything around you will have to be expanded—"

"But it would be _worth it!" Summersea whispered, "Imagine doing something _useful_ with my Gift….not," she amended hastily, "that what father and mother and you are doing _isn't_ useful, but you know, and I know, that there are half a dozen mages-in-training that can do the same thing with much better results than I can. But this…" She smiled hopefully, "most mages don't study strategy like I do. I can do this, I know I can."_

"It's hard," Featherblade warned.

"Life is hard." The young girl tossed her head back in defiance. "Hard is knowing that you aren't going anywhere in what you do now. I'll work hard, I promise." _And this is a good plan. A much better plan that trekking all the way up to the K'Leshya on my own. I can be useful here. To my people. I can keep my promises and carry my responsibilities without feeling smothered by them. It's a good plan. A solid plan._

With a sudden spurt of joy, she jumped up and tugged Featherblade's hand, calling Kirai to her in her excitement. "Come on, let's go tell Mother! She'll agree to it! I know she will!"

Featherblade smiled indulgently, letting his pupil pull him towards her ekele. If Summersea accepted it, so would Sera. She might not like it at first, but she would agree, and she would come around, especially since Moonwind already had.

After all, Sera Forest was a proud woman, but not inflexible.

***

"No."

The calm word shattered through the ekele, as soft as the flitting of shadows and wind, but carrying all the weight of a slap. Summersea sucked in her breath. Even Kirai didn't dare move, standing as motionlessly as if he were stuffed on his perch.

"No?" She repeated in disbelief. "Mother, you can't just—"

"No! And I'll thank you not to put foolish ideas into my child's head!" Sera rounded on Featherblade sharply, her quicksilver green eyes turning blue with ire, "She will become a Mage and she shall go into the Gate Project, like her father and her brothers. She shall stay in the Vale, with the family that loves her, and knows what's best for her! Not off to some barbaric camp to train with some half-washed, half-mad shaman!"

Featherblade's eyes narrowed. "You are distraught," He said quietly. "And you are my friend. So I shall try to disregard what you just said."

"I wish I could disregard the fact that you're encouraging my daughter in her hare-brained schemes! She is a _mage…she has Potential and she will be trained as a mage and she will grow up as one!" Her voice sounded like newly forged steel being dragged from the fire, harsh and pinging and her eyes glittered angrily with some inner fire. "My daughter **Will.**** Be. A. Mage."**_

"I will, but just not like Father!" Summersea cried, "When I reach my Mastery, I can—"

"No!" Sera dismissed the subject with a swift chop of her hand, turning her back on both of them as she headed back into the heart of the ekele. "There is no point in discussing this any further. I'm too busy to talk about nonsense. Summersea, please see Master Featherblade out."

Summersea almost choked on her humiliation, her hands knotting into fists at her side. She was sixteen, almost an adult by Ghost Cat standards, and here she was being treated like a baby from her _mother. Lika doll without a wit in her head. Hare-brained? Foolish? She'd heard those phrases once too many times! Feeling suffocated, she stared at the flap door that separated the family room from this one, feeling an old, familiar bitterness well up in her, but this time, no tears, thank the Gods. She was too furious to even contemplate crying._

She shouldn't have hoped. Hope was for fools, for imbeciles. She should have never believed that her mother would even try to see it her way!

A cool hand rested on her shoulder and she couldn't even bring herself to look up at her teacher. "It will be fine, Summersea. Sera'll come around once she sees the merit of it."

That was the second time in her life that she had known Featherblade to be fallible. The first was when he told her that her mother would agree in the first place. 

In fact, it got steadily worse. Not only did Sera _not _"come around", she refused to talk about it, ignoring her mate when he spoke of it, refusing to see Featherblade at all. Even Summerwind and Winterstag were honestly bewildered by their mother's uncompromising attitude; there was nothing wrong to being shaman-trained. And their sister showed aptitude for _some form of magery at least, which was a vast improvement on Summersea's __lack of improvement thus far._

But Sera accused them of taking sides, bursting into tears when they pressed her. So they had stopped, instead closing ranks on their sister to show her their support and love. Especially Summerwind, who took time out of his precious sessions with Starsong to talk with her, sit with her, make sure she was alright. Winterstag, being more pragmatic, offered her his expertise in finding different ways for her to do better in her lessons.

Summersea accepted all the attention passively, preferring to disappear into the forest with Kirai or finding any possible way to get out of the ekele, away from her mother's protective stranglehold. Mindful of her promise, and just needing someone to talk to, Kirai was the only other being that knew her mind and heart. Even Featherblade couldn't penetrate the cloak of coolness that she'd woven around herself. Sometimes she spoke in more than monosyllabic terms when talking with her brothers. She accepted her father's quiet lecture on how she needed, at least, to give her mother's way a try. 

Sera herself, she would not speak to at all.

She merely stared distantly past her mother's shoulder when Sera sat her down and explained, half tearfully, half in determination, that she was trying to protect her daughter, that such things that Featherblade suggested just weren't suited to Summersea's disposition. She knew it didn't seem fair at the moment but when she grew up, Summersea would thank her for it. A parent's job was to look out for their child, and this was the best way she knew how.

Summersea said nothing.

She refused to be drawn into the mother-daughter bonding experiences that Sera began to more frequently instigate, going through all the ritualistic motions of shopping for dye, walking in town, visiting the tervadis, without any enthusiasm. Not even the new hair pin that her mother bought her could make Summersea any less remote. Summersea nodded and thanked the shopkeeper but she never wore it. She saw it as a bribe, not a gift from the heart, and that made Summersea that much more resentful. The closer Sera tried to tie her in, the more distant her daughter grew.

The tension infected everything around them, growing especially taut and strained in the household. The situation was like a rubber-band stretched to its limit and everyone was braced for the snap. 

Because of that, it was strange that when it came, only one person really felt it for what it was. 

It came sooner than anyone would have expected, as the family was eating their lunch in an uneasy silence that had grown characteristic of any 'family time' together. Summersea was done first, pushing back her plate and rising to her feet.

Sera cleared her throat, and said, a little too loudly, "Summersea, if you would wait a moment? I…we…" Sera glanced at Moonwind for support. He refused to look at her, "would like to tell you something."

Summersea didn't give any sign of hearing, but she didn't leave either.

"Well…we feel that you have outgrown instruction with Featherblade." Sera fiddled with her napkin as, for the first time in days, Summersea's eyes snapped to hers. Summersea's eyes held a flash of disgust so deep, that Sera wanted to believe, with all her heart, that she had imagined it. So she convinced herself that she didn't see it, instead continuing, "Summerwind's Master, Starsong has agreed to take you on as a pupil, and it isn't as if you will never be able to see Featherblade again. You'll still be allowed to see him and visit his ekele whenever you want. Featherblade says that he'll be glad to have you."

"Would you like to take away Kirai too?" Summersea's voice was rusty from disuse, completely flat and emotionless and at first, no one realized that it was she who had said anything. Her eyes were hooded and dark, not the usual vibrant peridot it usually was and her hands hung loosely at her sides. "He'd be angry at first, but I'm sure that you could eventually talk him into leaving me."

"I'm not—," Sera flushed scarlet, "I am your mother, Summersea. I'm only doing what's best for you."

"Maybe you could convince Summerwind to break our Bond. There has to be a magical way to cut it."

"You're completely misunderstanding what I'm trying to do!"

"You can make every other person disown and forsake me. And the only person I want to get rid of right now is you."

"That's enough!" Moonwind barked, surging to his feet. Sera collapsed in her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking with shock and sobs and her brothers were too stunned to do anything about it. "As long as you live in this household, you will _never_ repeat what you just said. You will treat your mother with the respect she deserves. And right now you will apologize, Summersea." When she said nothing, he snapped, "NOW!" 

_But she's ruining my life._

Slowly, stiltedly, Summersea forced out a clipped, but oh-so-polite apology, asked to be excused, and left the table.

It wasn't until she got to her room did she feel the curious roar and lightheadedness between her ears. Her heart beat and thrummed like a taut drum, sharp and staccato, so loudly that she was surprised no one else could hear it. 

Kirai waited for her as she went into her room. ::_Made__ your choice.::_

::_Yes__.::_

***

While her mother worried and fluttered, she studied furiously, poring through every single book and map in the archives until she got a vague idea of the shape and breadth of the Peligar Forest.

While Starsong taught her about leylines and Gifts and Gates, she drilled herself over and over in the little offensive and tactical magic she knew or could wheedle from him. After the lessons, she would practice on her own for hours until she thought she could do nothing better. Starsong remarked, with some surprise, that she was showing a noticeable improvement,  and her parents nodded and murmured in approval, saying it was better now that she was away from Featherblade. Summersea ignored it all.

While her parents worked, she went into the forest and hunted, dried, trapped, gathered roots, early berries, herbs, medicine and planned.

It continued like this for some time until a bright full moon rose full and milky white across the Vale, bathing the trees in translucent, shimmering light.

And at that time, while the Vale slept…

She left.

tbc.

AN: SO SO SO sorry for the rather late post….my life's been one hectic scene with school and all….I hope it was worth the wait!

Shout outs!

JoeyStar: erm…^^;;; I don't think this was quick and I SO am sorry for that, and yes, this is K'Valdemar….I just screwed up and royally confused a lot of people! ^^:;;; Times like these when I wish I had my books with me HERE instead of five hundred some miles away at home! I hope this clears up some of the confusion and I hope you continue to enjoy reading it!

Magdellin: hi hi again! Oh no, I didn't take it as harsh, I thought I had messed up somewhere and I was really grateful for the clear up! *grins sheepishly* excuse me for making it sound as if you were too harsh. Thank you for reviewing again! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter!

LeopardDance: *blushes* thnx for your compliments! And ermm….how bought I get to keep Featherblade for my stories on the weekdays and you can have him on the weekends?  ^_~ He will hopefully continuing playing some part in the story…or will he? Heehee…

Kenhime: HEY SIS! I don't know if my style's changed all that much, but I think I'm focusing a lot more on the plot than loads and loads of overwhelming description. I think it reminds me of how I wrote PW,  argh….-_-;; still mental blockage with that fic. I don't think I'll ever be able to really let go of it and move on…I need some closure with that fic darnit! *hugs* continue to write! U rock!

Kat-tak: ^^;; sorry t'wasn't soon, but I hope it was soon enough! Take care and hope you liked this chapter!

Jeanne: I think I'll always keep on writing, except not with any great frequency and I always hop around too much but…^^:;;; I blame it on the Aries in me. Heehe….please enjoy!

Sage Twilight: yeah, I have that same problem with short chapters, anything less than seven hundred words makes me go "HUH? wait a moment, there's not more???" ^^;;; I think it's my brother's influence on my writing that makes the chapters so much longer than usual. His chapters are anywhere from ten thousand to twenty thousand words (I CANNOT DO THAT!!) and oh my GOD, some of his stuff is beautiful, even if he doesn't write for Mercedes Lackey (disgust: he calls her feminist sci fi….well poo to him!). I've heard his writing called poetry before, and it really is….I'll keep on hoping that I can write even half as well as he can. In the meantime, I hope you have fun with these small experiments of mine!

  
Youjibaracuda: *wryly* ur so silly. And u forget, CLARA is the angsty queen, not me! *Hugs* thx for reviewing but u should really read the books Ms. Lackey writes. They're really great, if you love sci-fi. And it's good to be back, even if it isn't under the same name and not writing for the same people. Not that GW has many old writers left.

Trina Ti: *grins* I love the fact that you're asking questions already, and I hope this chapter brought up even more questions to ask as you read! And please take some time from thinking to enjoying the chapter! Heehee…

I hope everyone continues to read! You guys are a very supportive group and it's a pleasure to write here! Thank you for making me feel welcome!


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